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The gym.  It smells like that thick rubbery flooring stuff they use in some playgrounds.  The stuff that makes you bounce when you walk.

It sounds like a busy warehouse due to the super high ceilings and wide open spaces and music and talking and grunting and lunks dropping weights.

It feels slightly disorienting because all the mirrors make it seem roughly 16 times as big as it actually is.

It looks like the modern equivalent of a medieval torture dungeon with strange pain-inflicting devices everywhere.

It’s my happy place.

Sometimes I wish I could sleep there.  I’d paint my name on one of the lockers, bring my pillow, and camp out on the one and only couch in the spa area.  I’d lift weights at night, like normal, then hit the sack, only to get up at six and get on the stair climber or do some power yoga.

Speaking of the spa area…

Massage chairs. Hydromassage beds. Red light therapy and total body rejuvenation system. Hydromassage beds. Tanning rooms. Oh yeah, and HYDROMASSAGE BEDS.

So the hydromassage beds are, um, pretty awesome.  You lie there (obviously) and set the controls on the touch-screen, and these heated jets of H2O travel up and down whatever area you program it for.  Between my shoulder blades and up to the base of my neck is my favorite area to set it for.  It can go all the way down to your feet if you want it to, but as far as I’m concerned, that just tickles.  But it’s great.  I mean, life-changing-ly great. I don’t know how I lived before I joined my gym. Come to think of it, maybe instead of the couch, I could just camp out on the hydromassage…