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You’ve heard of coffee, yes?  That miraculous elixir that removes the dead-eyed glaze from your face after a long, hard night of partying or, conversely, trying to sleep while your neighbors are partying?  It is, indeed, my morning beverage of choice.

Coffee cup

Sluuuurp.  (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

So, have you heard of Slashdot?

English: The Slashdot wordmark (in Coliseo fon...

The Slashdot wordmark (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Slashdot is “News for nerds, stuff that matters.”  The headlines go like, “LexisNexis and Other Major Data Brokers Hacked By ID Theft Service” and “Interview: Contiki OS Creator On Building the Internet of Things” and “Ask Slashdot: Are We Witnessing the Decline of Ubuntu?”  You get the picture.

Welllll . . . there’s this mysterious breed of sentient being that doesn’t drink coffee.  (I know, *GASP!* right? I’m actually married to one of those people.  Shocker!  Yes, it’s been rough, but I think we’ll make it.)  At the same time, this strange breed of being does tend to read, um . . . a certain type of nerdy internet tech forum.

Well, I had a revelation this morning.  Every single day of our married life, while I rush around making my brew at the speed of light, or at the speed of a harried, sleep-deprived mom-of-seven, anyway, SuperDad calmly sits in front of his dual-monitor PC set up while putting on his socks, and reads Slashdot.

DING!!  The light-bulb flashed on above my head.

Slashdot is his coffee.

This is me right now:

Disclaimer: That’s not actually me.

Why did it take me so long — thirteen years, in fact — to realize what’s going on? I am shaken down to the depths of my caffeinated soul.  My life will never be the same.  Any advice on how to assimilate this astounding revelation into my consciousness without causing a rift in my personal space-time continuum would be appreciated.  Quick, before my brain shorts out.

And now, back to the secret lab!