Sometimes, as a parent, you just have to give in. (Unless you want to go insane.)
Real happiness lasts more than a minute. Real happiness goes deeper than what Mom lets you eat, what T-shirt you’re wearing, or whether or not you get to watch cartoons all day. Being young, The Geeklet Six have yet to learn this important fact, and until they do, I’m sneaking what few moments of peace I can here and there, no matter how many Popsicles I have to feed them. And so, for your reading pleasure, here’s my own Top Ten List of . . .
How to Make Your Kids Fake Happy:
- Hand out lots of bubblegum and ignore what they do with it.
2. Socks are never actually necessary.
3. Encourage lots of enthusiastic jumping on beds, sofas, armchairs, piles of pillows, baskets of clean laundry, and SuperDad.
4. Put chocolate syrup in the milk. Just do it.
5. Hand out crayons and paper, and pretend they won’t color on the walls. You can always repaint later.
6. Crawdads and snails make wonderful family pets.
7. Have “bath-time” outside, utilizing swimsuits, the garden hose, a wading pool, buckets, squirt guns, sippy cups, dish soap, bubble wands, and possibly the dog’s water dish.
8. There’s nothing abnormal about getting up in the middle of the night to change clothes.
9. Superhero capes are suitable attire for all occasions, including dentist appointments, weddings, and eating out at fancy restaurants.
And finally, last but not least,
10. Oreos. Oreos. More Oreos. Never underestimate Oreos.
Voilà, and happy parenting!