Just a random selection here:
Things Kids Say
“MOM!! You have to spank him! He’s smiling at me!”
“I hate Mom. Maybe Mom should run away.” — Why, thank you, dear. I’d love to.
“Can we fly to Asguard?” — I wish.
“You need to get yourself a girl, mate.” — Delivered in a seven year old Captain Jack Sparrow voice.
“It’s gonna blow!!” — When the tea kettle whistled.
(Bloodcurdling scream from 6 year old.) “MOM!! He licked my toe!!”
After being told for three hours to go to sleep, yelling: “I love Kung Fuuuuuu!”
Things Kids Do
Take all the seat cushions off the sofa, then take a nap on sofa frame.
Climb into tree house, then scream bloody murder for Mom because of being “stuck.”
Ask for chocolate milk, then “drink” it with a spoon. Ask for a straw, then stick straw up nose.
“Play” with cat by giving him a bath in the kiddie pool.
Beg Mom for Popsicles, finally get Popsicles, feed Popsicles to dog.
Sing “Transformers” cartoon theme song over and over for forty-five minutes before falling asleep at night. Wake Mom and Dad up the next morning by singing “Transformers” cartoon theme song. Sing “Transformers” cartoon theme song instead of eating breakfast . . .
Color with crayons on window. Color with Lip Smacker on window. Color with peanut butter on window. Color with poop on window.
And, on that happy note . . . I’m gonna make like Porky Pig and say Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!