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The other day I read a story about a Ranger who died trying to rescue some people who were stuck on Mt. Rainier. My reaction to the story surprised me: I was jealous. Not jealous that he died; jealous that he died heroically. He sacrificed his life trying to save the lives of some complete strangers. These people weren’t his friends; he didn’t even know them, and he laid down his life for them. Is it possible to get more heroic than that?

So, I’m jealous of his heroism. I’ve just been wishing recently that my job had more opportunities for that sort of thing; more glamour, more adventure. The possibility of a sudden and spectacular death lurking behind every glacier! That’s what I mean.

Homeschooling six kids isn’t what you’d call glamorous. But just imagine me, your average random dork, trudging up the side of some snowy mountain on whatever important, heroic mission, with The Geeklet Six plodding along in my wake and SuperDad bringing up the rear! We’re on an adventure! We’re being extraordinary! The wind is in our hair, the air is crisp and fresh and smog-free, the sunlight shines on our happy faces and holy crap it’s a scene right out of “Sound of Music.” Well, maybe not quite. I don’t wear skirts while mountain climbing.

What’s gotten into me all of a sudden? Where did this strange jealousy of dangerous, heroic, adventurous lifestyles come from? Which leads me to the big question:

Is 33 too young for a midlife crisis?

Maybe I should update my profile: “Happily married 30-something homeschooling mom of six, going bonkers with the tameness of it all.”

I know having this many kids isn’t exactly tame; it actually puts me a bit on the wild side as far as most people are concerned; but, you see, I’m used to it. (Was that Ranger used to his job rescuing people? Did it get boring for him?)

No, The Geeklet Six are not boring. Making lunch for them every day is boring. Heck, making lunch for me every day is boring! What can I do about this?!?

Idea #1) Buy a Corvette?

Nah; cliché.

#2) Find a sugar daddy, abandon my family, and move to Costa Rica?

But, I love my family.

# 3) Get plastic surgery?

Ew.

#4) Join an ashram?

I don’t think they let kids in, and I’m not quite sure what an ashram is anyway.

#5) Running out of ideas here . . .

Let’s see what the Geeklets think about this. Geeklet #6 isn’t speaking intelligible English yet, and also he’s napping, but I’ll ask the others.

Geeklet #4 says: “Have a drink.”

#5 says: “I poopy.”

#2: “Buy more bratwurst, and little cans of soda.”

#3: “I want an alligator.”

#1: “Play Skyrim.”

While #4’s suggestion has definite merit and #3’s idea is obviously the most exciting (but where would we keep an alligator?) I think I’ll try #1’s idea first. See you in Tamriel.

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